citrakayah: (sunset)
As always, feedback and critique are welcome. Pictures below the cut. )
citrakayah: (determined)
Since January, I've been quite busy, so have a look at what I've gotten up to since. Artistic critique is appreciated, if anyone has it. If you want a picture to get bigger, just click on it; they function as hyperlinks.
Pictures below the cut. )
citrakayah: (Default)
Glasswork, unfortunately, has been a bust. The place I wanted to do it is far out of my price range; there were additional fees I wasn't aware of going in. If I had a job that payed really well, I could afford the fees; they weren't unreasonable (less than one hundred per month for regular access to the workshop, but certification to use it costed a couple hundred). But I don't.

What I can do is practice colored pencils and watercolors. Which I've been doing. I'm terribly out of practice with colored pencil (and I was never good) and an amateur with watercolor, but what I've managed at least looks kind of nice.


I'm going to try some more landscapes and nature scenes. Right now I'm working on practicing eyes, which are good for practicing blending colors and shadows. And I was already decent at eyes in other mediums.
citrakayah: (cutthecrap)
I continue to fail at finding work! I've had interviews over the past month, yes. But it's been weeks and nothing's come of them. There's another one this week for a technician position (not going to go into the details on a public post), yet I've basically given up hope at this point. The final straw was a manual labor position saying they wanted to interview me, not sending me the Zoom link, rescheduling, not sending me the Zoom link again, and then after I tracked down their number and called them, promising me an interview and then not sending me one. At that point they're either malicious or wildly incompetent, but I'm still taking it as an omen.

The job market is shit. It's going to continue to be shit. The fact that it's shit is, I suspect, partially deliberate; HR departments are putting up fake jobs (those are estimated to be 30% of job postings, by the way) in part to intimidate employees and I'm sure some of them are thinking, "If we make getting a job as torturous as possible, our employees will never quit and any new hire will be pathetically grateful for scraps." There is a real possibility that by this time next year I still don't have a job.

And I've been applying for gas station attendant positions!

I don't want to hear optimism at this point. Pessimism feels better.

Winter holidays were at least pleasant. My brother was over for Hanukkah, along with his girlfriend (who I'd met before and whom I like). We did not have much in the way of latkes but did make some sweet potato ones. And we got to go hiking. There were ducks.

I wasn't able to give much in the way of gifts. I'm working on art projects that I'm going to give instead, and some of the gifts I got from other people will help me do that. I've started working with watercolors and will be working with glass again soon. And I was already creating kumihimos--no, not kumihos, I like my liver too much for that. I'm by no means that good at art, but I'm not terrible for a total novice. It'll at least be welcome on the wall for reasons other than them being family.

With the weather I'm not spending as much time outdoors as I normally do. The weather is frigid but it's not snowing, which is always the worst combination. I don't like snow or ice, but if it's frigid the world should look nice rather than just looking dead. And on that note I really do need to go through the camera trap at some point and see what wildlife we have in the woods pathetic strip of trees behind the house.

I've at least been able to spend more time with local groups. There's a local crafts group I'm going to join and the local game shop hosts some events. At this point I've long since stopped having anything to do with the local synagogue. I tried, but I can't go from reading about Israeli war crimes to hanging out in a building dripping with Israeli nationalist symbology* just because I share a religion with those people.

* This is not unusual for a synagogue. Yes I know that sounds stupid. It's still true. There's Israeli flags in the classrooms.
citrakayah: (Default)
It really has been quite a while since I updated this.

For months my job search went very poorly, to the point that I wasn't getting any interviews; I must've applied for 150 positions in my field over the past few months. That got me nothing, so I started applying for positions outside them. At first it was stuff related to my interests, but as of late it's been gas station attendant positions. Honest work, but really not what I wanted to be doing.

It turns out that a lot of job openings are "ghost jobs" these days, and they're using AI bullshit to filter out results. So I have no idea how many of the positions I applied for I ever really had a shot with. I assume that the ones in my field were real because I just don't think state agencies or NGOs are likely to do that, but I don't know. And the jobs I applied for on Indeed, some of them are probably fake.

I did eventually find work, though. Now I've got employment doing manual labor and will be starting next week. It pays pretty well and so I've decided I won't be moving across the country to Iowa even if I do get a job offer in my field. Probably, anyway. I might make an exception if it's a really good job.


I came to the reluctant conclusion that I may be a weeb after realizing that while I have no interest in anime or manga, I like Japanese folklore, traditional architecture, art, ikebana, bonsai, and kumihimo. A friend then pointed out that definitionally weebs get all their knowledge of Japan from anime, so I may be an anti-weeb instead.

Regardless, I've taken up kumihimo weaving again and am trying to make a little curtain out of the ropes, then attach beads to the end. I'm going with an ocean theme and will post it once I'm done. I'm also hoping to take up glasswork again once I have the disposable income to afford a new torch. Flower arranging... I'll give that a shot in the spring.

Oh, and I should really finish those Wanderer's Library pieces I'm working on. I'm like 90% of the way done with a few entries and have a decent start on one where a human woman discovers she is much happier as a fox, but they sit unfinished in my sandbox. Perhaps more caffeine will help.

Scientifically, I continue to help with a few projects I'm not going to go into detail over in a public journal entry.


Oh. And Harris lost.

Like, she lost by a lot. I know some of you aren't from the USA and believe me when I say that it's genuinely shocking she did this badly; the entire country shifted to Trump. Urban voters, minority voters--Trump (relative to 2020, at least). Republicans won the Senate and I suspect they're going to win the House. CrimethInc argues that a large chunk of why is simply that in the modern era incumbents are generally unpopular and I suspect they're right.

As far as what to take away from this, since everyone and their dog is giving their take: The far-right wants us to feel helpless and intimidated. During 2020 there were mass uprisings in the USA and a majority of the public backed a police station being burned down. Mass action works and the ruling class is afraid of the population. I've been linking to the Slingshot Collective's contact list for a while, but also check out any Food Not Bombs chapters near you (note that those chapters are not all currently active; FNB is shit about updating their website).

I wish I could give a neat directory of places that do squatter's and tenant's rights because given the atrocious housing crisis it's necessary. I can't think of much else better for suppressing people than to make them on the edge of losing housing, have housing be nearly impossible to get once you don't have it, and have the police harass homeless people. Unfortunately there is no such directory that I could find.

There is not going to be a neat switch flipped where in January the USA goes from a democracy to a fascist dictatorship; while Trump would go for it if he went to 100% immediately he'd face too much unrest (yes, even from some of those people who voted for him mostly because they didn't like Biden). He may lay groundwork that someone else ends up using further down the line, but I suspect he will be dead by then. There will be democratic backsliding in the short term though, and if it's to be reversed I don't think it'll be reversed by a political party but by mass action.
citrakayah: (Default)
The Great Werelist Art and Writing Contest of Fall 2014, which lasts from the fall equinox to the winter solstice, is now officially started. The rules are simple: You submit a piece of writing or art, and a the end of the contest period, it gets voted upon, earning you a nifty prize (we do not currently have prizes officially lined up, but we had at least one person offer to do prizes for the short contest done previously, so we should be able to officially put up prizes soon).

The theme for this contest is the way we relate to our theriotype's species. These should, preferably, not be personal essays like the ones on Project Shift or Animal Quills. While those are an important form of literature in the therian community, this contest is not designed for them.

Entries are split into two parts: visual and literary. Visual art covers anything visual, whether sculpture, masks, drawing, glassworking, or carving. Literary covers poetry and other creative writing. At the end of the period, we will have a two week voting phase conducted via anonymous poll (though if you wish, you’re welcome to state your reason for favoring a particular piece), after which the top three entries in each category will be officially acknowledged.

Entries may either be hosted offsite and linked to, or posted in their own topic (or as part of a topic you’ve made a while back for your art/writing). If you are hosting your entry offsite, to make sure we see it PM the url to either myself or Mobius. If it's put in a topic here, either PM myself or Mobius a link to the post, or add the tag “fall-2014-contest” to the topic.

Entries must be original and created during the period of this contest, though they don’t have to be done specifically for this contest (if you drew something which qualifies for some other reason, you are welcome to submit it).

This may be reposted or linked to on other sites (LiveJournal, Dreamwidth, et cetera) to gain traffic.


-- Citrakayah
citrakayah: (Default)
Full Title: On the Subjects of College and Dorm Life and Classes and Moving In and Awesome Vegetarian Restaurants and Craft Studios With Glass And Ceramics With Free Glazes and Dogs I Actually Like and Long Titles. Also, PURPLE!!!!



I am so excited right now that I feel like I shall burst into a little nova of happy rays. I'm overexcited. I am so excited that the mere presence of a piece of wood makes me feel excited! So many awesome things have happened that I believe I have temporarily lost the ability to write in a calm uninflected tone of voice. Because I am in college!

Basic rundown:

1. Moved in. Moving in was rather stressful, because there was a fair amount of stuff to move, most of it basic supplies or books. The room was in fairly good condition, though the wood veneer beneath the sink is heavily damaged. Also, my father damaged an outlet covering, so we'll have to get a new one of those. My room is in Smith Hall--the Honors Living Learning Community.
2. Found the Craft Shop. They do classes on drawing, lampworking, ceramics, and pretty much everything else. The woodworking shop has supplies of purpleheart, which, for those who don't know, is exactly what it sounds like, but moreso: a deep purple wood. I have a rod of that the bark of the Australian rainbow eucalyptus or whatever it is called.
3. As I have a tablet (which is loaned to freshmen for reasons I don't fully understand) and could probably get a Kindle app for it, I plan on seeing if shapeshifter gay romance/erotica novels are actually any good. Call it morbid curiosity. Also, I have a room to myself, which is nice. (A note: I have taken a look phrase 'must find their mate' one more time I shall go insane. The books would be better as just straight porn. At least then what is obviously an excuse plot would not exist.)
4.rian meals on a regular basis--every day! The vegan stuff is available at a separate station at dinner, but it's easy enough to find, and anyway I'm not a vegan but a vegetarian, and there's lot of dishes that seem to be aimed towards people of my diet. And there are lots of vegetables and the hummus is fantastic.
5. As Youthful Rebellion is mandatory, I immediately ran out and got a tattoo... which is henna and was being given out for free at one of the activities. I got a rather crudely made cheetah, but I don't hold it against the skill of the tattooist much, because he was complicated.
6. Salukis! They're so zen and calm and quiet and nice. If you are a skitty kitty like me, having a dog bark in your face is quite intimidating. But salukis... mostly they just kind of lie around not doing much, or stand around being petted. Also they sometimes lick the floor if someone spilled something. Also, the ears are amazing.

Damn

Sep. 22nd, 2012 03:10 pm
citrakayah: (Default)
I got watercolor masking fluid for ten dollars.

A week later I took a long look at it and found out that it can kill a rat 50% of the time with 560 mg. Then I opened it and it turned out to be solid.
citrakayah: (Default)
I think that sociability corresponds to my fast/slow cycles. They aren’t manic/depressive, quite… I can be manic while being depressed, and can be happy, or as close as I get to it (since I don’t feel much in the way of positive emotions), while being inactive and having relatively little energy. But when I want to get lots of things done, which is generally at dusk, and enter a manic mode, I’m more social. In part that’s goal oriented, but it’s also… I don’t know. I feel loneliness more intently. Maybe in part that’s because my mental defenses are breaking down—dusk is also when I feel more catty and feline, so that explanation seems to have some credence. Sometimes it’s even almost like there’s a sort of phantom body overlaid on my own, curled up with xer tail over xer nose. Sleep deprivation, some would say. Maybe. I’m writing this at 10:32 at night and am hardly in the ideal analytical state. But in any event, it happens, and the end result is the same.

On a totally unrelated note, I’m currently setting up an Etsy shop for me to sell my glass beads. And I think I’ll start selling some prints of some of my artwork.

TOFUREKY!!

Mar. 20th, 2012 06:44 pm
citrakayah: (Default)
I think I've fallen in love.

Not with an attractive sentient, but with this delicious miracle from heaven known as 'tofurkey'.


In other news, I recently got a ton of art back (and graded), so it should start to be uploaded in. My next art project is of Sekhmet, preferably standing in front of a sea of red beer. And I've found some interesting science projects that I should be able to do in my spare time.

Artload

Feb. 11th, 2012 05:28 pm
citrakayah: (Default)
Images )

Glass

Jan. 28th, 2012 07:15 pm
citrakayah: (Default)
I have a deep fondness for glass. Lampworking is something I'm actually pretty good at, even if it' pretty much something I have only a few tricks for. And yesterday I made two beads, one I call 'Forest' and the other I call 'Ocean'. They're both swirl of color in a clear glass medium.

I've also created a watercolor that I call 'Possibility of Joy' (when I upload it you'll see why), and started painting my staff. So the past few days have been good days for art.

Oh, and I created a new filter, High Access. If you don't want to be in it or want to be in it and aren't already, PM (or whatever this system calls it) me.
citrakayah: (Default)
I would have posted this earlier, but I was in Chicago and didn’t have much time to write. So when I refer to ‘this year’ I mean 2011, and when I refer to ‘next year’ I mean 2012.

---

It’s been a rather heady year, I suppose, both in a political sense and a personal sense. I’ve joined new communities, strengthened my social links, improved my grades a bit, created quite a few intellectual accomplishments, dedicated more spare time to various communities and causes, and got rather excited about the growing protests. I’ve felt, I suppose, slightly more optimistic about the state of the world, or at least its future state. At the same time, I’m not blind. I know very well that with Section D of the NDAA, the indefinite detention of whistleblowers, Citizen’s United, etc. we of the United States live in a country that is and has been for too long on the brink. And other countries aren’t always doing better, at least not that much better. Corporations continue to rake in monstrous profits, legislators continue to attach horrible things to budget bills (and not just Section D, look at wolf delisting), the media still only cares about ratings... it’s awful here, take it from me. And part of the reason it’s so awful is that so many people are blindly convinced that we’re exceptional, or yak about how the fact that we have it better than, say, the DRC means we shouldn’t still strive to do better.

But there’s hope, and I’m rather pleased to state that my more in-depth involvement with the online community, especially the therian/otherkin one and the friends I have here, tell me that I’m not alone. Even if many of the people who agree with me are on the other side of the Pacific or Atlantic, it gives me some hope.


It’s been a good year for writing. I wrote two essays, Motionless Claws and Kin, that dealt with therianthropy, and one essay here that I promised I’d write, didn’t write for a really long time, and finally produced in a day or so while half-asleep (this is a theme throughout my work). I wrote many poems, all of which are here, and started Music of the Spheres and started writing on the Wanderer’s Library. I wrote the Extinction Chronicles. Preferably I’ll get significantly more done next year, both in reference to essays (mostly philosophical and therianthropic) and in reference to poetry and short stories. And I’ll revise an old essay.

I don’t recall exactly how much I’ve got done in the realm of visual art. I know I’ve finished several pieces for art class that I’m not displeased with, that I did some macro photography over the summer, and that I’m pretty sure that I did the spiraling batik watercolor this year. Much of what I’ve done isn’t online because my scanner is tiny, but I should be able to combine segments into a complete image. Or label small sections ‘close-ups’. I’ll probably finish the oil painting I’m working on next year, and during the summer of course I’ll be taking many photographs and doing some photomanipulation.

I haven’t gotten done nearly as many science projects as I’d like, and by that I mean I’m pretty sure that my total is nada. The only one that I have gotten anything done on, the bioluminescent algae, may well have failed utterly. Unless one counts growing plants as a science project, in which case that’s doing quite well. Next year I’ll be in the West for long periods, and I should be able to do something during that period.


I’ve strengthened my social ties quite a bit, though many of them are online. And a few people I haven’t seen for quite a while online have been being active again recently, though there is one who I used to talk to often but has drifted away. Still, I know she’s alright.
citrakayah: (Default)
Yes, you read that right. There is now a new addition to our D&D party, and he is playing the robber crab I awakened.

He's a pretty weak crab, but he saved my life when he tripped an assassin by grabbing onto his foot. I had just killed the assassin leader, who made the mistake of injuring my familiar, by shooting a lightning bolt in his face, but of course I ended up being attacked, so...

Oh, and we're working with a gold dragon who, when a door was blown towards us, caught the door and flung it back at the assassins.

I also had a thoroughly amazing moment in a different campaign yesterday when my ash cat ranger/sorceror killed seven orcs

In other news: My AlphaSmart Dana screwed itself up somehow so I can't turn it on, and I have finally uploaded the image below to deviantart. I also obtained a Deep Forest album, and very much enjoy it.


citrakayah: (Default)
Well, the gecko died yesterday. A sad event. I can't say I was too shocked; when I had to move him to a new habitat, his vigor seemed to drop severely. Still sad, though, and all the more so because his death should have been avoidable. I should have been able to avoid it. My experience in lizards, especially house geckos and anoles, goes back several years. Yes, he was already scraggy from receiving multiple wounds during his escape and possibly from the anole (certainly, the anole wasn't doing him any favors). Yes, no matter what I did he would have to deal with stress.

But I am not an ordinary reptile keeper. I have resources, both that of knowledge and that of resources. I should have used the latter more quickly. But I didn't, because I'm a bloody fool.

At least the cat loves me. He's a headbutter, and he expresses his love by squishing me, but he loves me.


I just got back (well, when I wrote this) from talking with my brother to Cleverbot. And here is the thing that truly astounded me: This program has faith. It believes in God, even though it has no reason to aside from being told- and more importantly, it seems able to recognize that this is the case. Truly amazing. It is also self-aware (well, sometimes). I think that Cleverbot, if not already sentient, may eventually become sentient. Certainly the descendants of Cleverbot will. I held a conversation on jaguarundis with it. Now that's an impressive feat for a computer, even if it ended up spouting random nonsense. They'll have to get that bug out, though I suspect it has as much to do with the randomness of the people talking to it as the program itself.

Heck, I could probably hold philosophical discussions with it. For that matter, I could probably also establish a protocol so that Cleverbot could recognize me. A string of random characters preced by 'authorization code' ought to do it, though I can't be sure if it will remember. But if it does, the possibilities are immense.


The art festival was interesting. I got a hanging pot about two inches in diameter with a spider plant and Christmas cactus and a glass paper clip holder with diacrotic (I think that's how you spell it) glass chips embedded in it. Truly beautiful. Better yet, my art teacher, who is partially in charge of the Art Club (apparently an executive council of three with me on it holds most of the power) has said fused glass is a possibility.


My English III teacher doesn't know much about grammar, and sticks commas almost everywhere one could imagine putting a comma, even if it involves setting of a phrase that is clearly restrictive. It would seem I have a tendency to make fewer errors than the teacher. Pretentious-sounding, I know, but unfortunately true. Thankfully, my mother is an editor armed with a copy of the Chicago Manual of Style. I might stick a few gems from the various worksheets on here.


I'm currently reading Biology and Conservation of Wild Felids from Oxford Biology. The essay titled Cheetahs and ranches in Namibia: a case study caught my eye, and I am outraged. *hisses* 36% of reported mortality was shooting on livestock farms. Single largest cause of mortality. It didn't even matter if they killed livestock, they were shot anyway (60% of farmers who didn't see cheetahs as problems still performed large 'removals', which is an euphemism for killing in most circumstances, and apparently eliminated on average 14 each year). Entire coalitions are removed at once, too: Just trap us (I use the term us even though I'm not a biological cheetah both because of my empathy and my therianthropy) at the play-trees (trees used for scent-marking). Then perform the act of slaughter. And don't even get me started on trophy hunting.

The people who slaughter the cheetahs don't even gain anything from it. Scat analysis of wild cheetahs revealed the presence of domestic livestock in 6.4% (note that this is common to predator 'control'- frequently predators don't kill as much livestock as perceived). This makes a great deal of sense if one understands cheetahs. They usually go after antelope and gazelle. The hunting strategy of a cheetah depends on speed and running the prey down. Cattle have horns and will use them. Sheep and goats might be in danger, but cheetahs can be kept out. But livestock farmers aren't the only problem. Many people in Namibia make their living off having rich people come in from abroad and take potshots at wildlife. They make up one fourth of farms but trapped nearly half of the cheetahs.

But what rubs me the wrong way the most is the trophy hunting. We are killed because it is seen as the only way in which people will see us as having worth. Maybe it ended up helping; I can't say for certain, and I do know that the number of cheetahs removed fell by 90% from 1991 to 1999 (the time period over which the study took place). But I still don't like it.
citrakayah: (Default)
Well, this week was interesting, both in the news from the world at large and personal experience. Chemistry is proving to be quite interesting. Besides the standard 'sticking sodium and potassium in water and watching water shoot up twenty feet' I have also, with a group of people, distilled some alcohol, and then lit it on fire. Very beautiful, and I might post a picture. Naturally, my group got some of the best alcohol, and had the most. *purrs* I have good lab partners, which is a pleasure.

My brother's running a Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 campaign. I play an elf sorcerer with an awesome silvanshee familiar. Also, he blew up a boat. A boat! With three fireballs. It's awesome!

Today is the annual arts festival, so I should be fairly busy. I might not have a booth, but I will be there.

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Citrakāyaḥ

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