(no subject)
Jul. 20th, 2017 04:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
citrakayahI have not been well.
For the past ten years or so, I have been on SSRIs to combat depression. They've started losing effectiveness, and while I don't know when that process started, I'm guessing it was last year. Doing almost anything often feels difficult, and actually thinking deeply or introspecting tends to hurt. All I can think of is death, rot, and the slow strangulation of everything I care about. Certainly at this point I've concluded that most of the biodiversity of the world is going to go extinct.
I love watching nature documentaries, but at this point... they're a form of escapism. A way of thinking about how things might have been, had we not fucked up the planet.
So I'm going off the SSRIs. I don't know what long-term effects I'll suffer, but at this point I feel like I don't have that much to lose, not in the grand scheme of things. Almost anything seems better than just kind of drifting along, though I suppose I might just think that because of my present situation.
Long term, I'm pretty sure I need to rebuild my relationships and reintegrate myself into the communities I've sort of dropped out of... but I don't think that's going to be very easy.
For the past ten years or so, I have been on SSRIs to combat depression. They've started losing effectiveness, and while I don't know when that process started, I'm guessing it was last year. Doing almost anything often feels difficult, and actually thinking deeply or introspecting tends to hurt. All I can think of is death, rot, and the slow strangulation of everything I care about. Certainly at this point I've concluded that most of the biodiversity of the world is going to go extinct.
I love watching nature documentaries, but at this point... they're a form of escapism. A way of thinking about how things might have been, had we not fucked up the planet.
So I'm going off the SSRIs. I don't know what long-term effects I'll suffer, but at this point I feel like I don't have that much to lose, not in the grand scheme of things. Almost anything seems better than just kind of drifting along, though I suppose I might just think that because of my present situation.
Long term, I'm pretty sure I need to rebuild my relationships and reintegrate myself into the communities I've sort of dropped out of... but I don't think that's going to be very easy.
no subject
Date: 2017-08-02 07:32 am (UTC)At the very least do reduce your dosage gradually, since going off meds abruptly is certain to have upsetting side-effects on your health and mood.
I hope you'll find your balance eventually and wish you the best!
no subject
Date: 2017-08-06 07:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-08-02 07:13 pm (UTC)Humans are a climate-altering mass extinction event, but they aren't the only one this world has seen. We're hoping they won't be the last, and that the direst predictions are giving them too much credit.
We hope that the human era on Earth does not last too much longer, and that the species which thrive once they're gone will become just as beautiful and diverse as those which did long before.