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One of the cats has feline leukemia, and it's not treatable. I've actually known for a week or two, so--well, I'm not over it, but I'm okay. Still sad about it, of course. Who wouldn't be? For the past few years, she's been the cat I've been closest to.
She doesn't have long left, and I can't be there with her. I can't drive or fly halfway across the country. I'm just glad that she seems somewhat happy in her final days, and I can at least see her through video. It's not truly enough, but I've got to make do.
It feels like I'm dealing with it better than I did the deaths of cats in the past. I can't be sure if that's because I've got work to distract me, because I've been drifting apart from them now that I spend most of my time in other states, because I'm better at dealing with these things, or because my emotions are just more blunted than they were four to five years ago.
She doesn't have long left, and I can't be there with her. I can't drive or fly halfway across the country. I'm just glad that she seems somewhat happy in her final days, and I can at least see her through video. It's not truly enough, but I've got to make do.
It feels like I'm dealing with it better than I did the deaths of cats in the past. I can't be sure if that's because I've got work to distract me, because I've been drifting apart from them now that I spend most of my time in other states, because I'm better at dealing with these things, or because my emotions are just more blunted than they were four to five years ago.
