May. 2nd, 2030

citrakayah: (Default)
Notes on the Journal:

1. Most of my entries don’t have warnings for potentially disturbing content. I generally save those for things that are in the upper echelon of disturbing. If I’m venting about something stupid Rick Santorum said, for example, that will not get a warning. If I’m talking about sexual harassment in anything but the most vague terms, that will get a warning. So if you see one of them, take it very seriously.

This is current policy as of April 2012, and may change in the future, especially if someone asks me to change it, in which case I will.
2. There are three filters: general access, high access, and fiction. General access is where I say stuff that I don’t want showing up on a Google search engine or being found by someone I know in real life. Quite a lot of stuff falls under here, since a lot of what I say could be traced back to me. It’s also where I talk about things I don’t feel completely comfortable sticking up for all the world to see.

High access is where I put things that I really don’t feel comfortable about, such as various mental trauma that I’ve had to deal with and refuse to go into detail about here, or the nasty details of my head. If you want to be added to the filter, message me, and if I know you well enough I’ll probably add you.

Fiction is where I stick fiction. It is almost never used, because usually I forget to stick fiction under it. Message me to be added, and you will be unless I know that you’re someone who posts other people’s work and takes credit for it. My Music of the Spheres stories are free to be reposted at will if I am credited. The Wanderer’s Library stories are also free to be posted at will if I am credited, unless the Wanderer’s Library site has an even more free copyright license. DotV may not be posted anywhere else; I plan on getting it published someday. Assume that the same applies for everything else.
3. All essays may be posted anywhere if I am given credit for it. In fact, all may consider themselves invited to post my essays in other locations if I am given credit.
4. My art may not be posted anywhere else without my explicit permission. It is evidence of my identity--not in the hands of someone who knows me only on the Internet, but in the hands of someone who knows me off the net. If people in my real life discover my online life, there is a good chance that I will suffer. I will explicitly state if this is not the case, and you can expect that it almost never will be so.

Notes on me:

1. I am slightly paranoid. This means that if I say something that I’m afraid will make other people dislike/fear/hate me, and people’s behavior seems to be confirming this, I will freak out, curl up in a small ball in my bed, and go through the emotional equivalent of a nosedive. If something I write has the effect to either make you dislike/fear/hate me, or a lesser version of one of those, please tell me. I’m not going to be terribly upset; I’ve dealt with much, much worse from people I was close to, and what’s not said has a far greater effect over me than what is said.
2. Once I’ve started a thread of conversation, I tend to have an inclination to continue it. That applies both to debates/arguments and to pleasant conversations about the weather or something similarly inane. If you say something in response to me, I am going to feel obligated, on a certain level, to say something in response. The same but worse is true of debates/arguments; I will not cease until the person I am talking to ceases to reply, we reach an agreement, I am told to knock it off, or one of us cedes victory. This can and has make a debate/argument drag on for months. If you get tired of something like that, again, tell me to knock it off and I will.
3. Despite, or perhaps because of, the various psychological damages that I’ve gone through, it’s relatively hard to emotionally trigger me. I feel relatively little emotion, and that which I do is generally a mere echo, unless it’s overwhelming emotional pain and emptiness, in which case I feel it just fine. The few things that can produce severe emotional reactions usually don’t do so twice, as well.


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September 2017


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